Thursday, February 6, 2014

I never rely on the kindness of strangers

Rich and I got married at a young age. We left the nest and headed off to Texas leaving our families behind and start a new life. We’ve made some friends along the way and am luck that we are still in touch with some of them.

Along our journey, we have relied upon our friends from time to time, but really relied upon ourselves mostly. I think we were taught to just do things yourself. This way you aren’t upsetting your friends or asking them for things that might strain the relationship.
Another key factor is that we have always lived in an apartment in a city setting (except when we lived in Newton, MA). If we ever had a problem with something not working in our apartment, we just called the maintenance crew or owners. Sometimes we tackled the problems ourselves, but always knew we could rely on them to fix the problem.

When we moved from Texas to Massachusetts, we were met with people who are going about their own business. Many people would hardly stop if you were asking them a question or needed assistance. I have heard that those New Englanders were not friendly and I soon found out why. They aren’t getting the sleep required to be a nice. They wake up grumpy most mornings because their TV programs don’t end until 11pm. Something I could not quite understand considering the East Coast begins their day an hour before people in the central time zone. I know this first hand as I lived it for 6 years.

It was interesting when we moved to Newton, MA and Rich decided he was going to get up early and ride his motorcycle to work after an icy snow storm. Braedon was only a few months old and sleep was very precious. I kept hearing this strange noise of tires burning against ice. Then I would hear rumbling in our house and more tires screeching. Of course I had no choice but to get up and find out what the heck was going on outside. When I say early, it was just before sunrise and I was shocked Rich was going to work on his motorcycle. He was determined, but could not get the bike up the hill of our driveway. We had neighbors and probably could have asked them, but again it was way early in the morning. Finally after a bit of pushing and some boards, off he went and I had to drag my tired body into the house to take care of a newborn. This would be a foreshadowing of what was to come…

Chicago was no different except we met a few nice people, but a lot of people were too busy. Our neighborhood was full of transient people being that it was a community made up of students, professors or other related to the university. We knew our time wasn’t permanent and finding friends was not very easy.  It was a place filled with judgment, ridicule, and keeping up with one another—a game I hated. I found some true friends with whom I am grateful for their knowledge and non-judgmental views. Again, we didn’t rely or have to rely on them too much.

We knew that moving to Idaho was going to be challenging, but we didn’t realize the challenges would arrive so quickly. Our first encounter comes when Rich accidently let car battery die. He was outside working on the car and in the garage. The radio was keeping him company and then got distracted when our chairs were being delivered. He brought them in and then went on to do something else. He was supposed to pick up the rest of the furniture later in the day, but alas the car was dead.

Most of our lives we had two vehicles. When we moved to MA, we sold my car because we were moving to the city and street parking was a premium. Plus there was a great transit system and we didn’t really need anything more. Rich soon bought a motorcycle and then we were getting ready to have our 1st child. We needed something more reliable and larger (not really but we thought so at the time) and sold our BMW to get the Mercedes. When we moved to Chicago, we did not have room for the motorcycle not did Rich have the time to drive it, so we sold it. The city offered great transportation and we were living 10 minutes from Rich’s work, so another car was not needed.

Here we are now in Idaho with one vehicle and living about 15 minutes from town. Rich had to find one of the neighbors to help jump start him. We were only here for about 1 week before relying on strangers. It was actually quite nice because we were able to meet someone and get an idea of the neighborhood. He was very friendly and we were in shock at how kind he was to us.

Not more than a week later, we rented a Uhaul to pick up some furniture we purchased. A whole leather couch, mini couch, an ottoman, and another vintage couch had to fit into this Uhaul. We needed furniture and I was tired of college furniture. We were not thinking clearly when we decided to pick up these items as it had been snowing. Of course it was getting dark and we ventured back home thinking we could easily get up our hill pulling this Uhaul. It was a sad sight when we almost made up the hill and then began to be dragged backwards. It was too slippery and we could not get traction to gain momentum up the hill.  Luckily, our other neighbor saw we were stuck and came to our rescue. He offered several suggestions, we dug out several spots and lots of kitty litter. We certainly grateful for his help and knew we could rely on him if we needed anything.  We were exhausted at this point and didn’t care if we sat on our floors for the rest of our lives.

Earlier in the week, Rich had hurt his back after we were swing around a cord of wood we purchased for our wood stove. I knew we were in trouble because our moving truck from Chicago was due to arrive the next morning. The car and Uhaul were clearly in the way and had to be moved. We needed to get the contents out of there this evening. Again, we had to rely on strangers for help. Rich quickly dialed a few people he was working with to see if they could come and help at 7pm at night. We were desperate because I couldn’t do it by myself and we didn’t want to risk further injury to Rich’s back. Surprisingly, the 2 brothers came right away and moved the furniture inside in minutes. They even hooked the Uhaul to their trucks and returned it for us.

I was in such shock and awe at the tremendous hospitality that was showered upon us in one evening. We were not sure if the move out here was a good idea, but with such wonderful people we have met thus far, it seems to be just right.


So, we do rely in the kindness of strangers.

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